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~ November - Page 1 ~

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Subject: death and dying

From: Sharlene <sharlene@light-mission.org>

Date: Tue, 04 Nov 2003 05:38:14 -0800

Observing the process of death from the moment of letting go of life from the mental aspect has been an interesting and frustrating road thus far. My Father decided to quit fighting his death a few weeks ago. He quit eating, quit taking his meds., and drinks enough to keep from drying up totally. Today so far has refused even the liquid. He has COPD, and now into congestive heart failure. I witness the changes through hours instead of days or weeks like before. The chest is more congested, the coughing more sporadic, and yet nothing releases itself from the lungs. The rattling in the breathing is getting more noticeable. There is fear, and yet not anxiety. There is a sense of peace happening through the fear. It's hard to explain. When my Mother died in August, it was a different process. Her body slowly shut down with septicemia and she left peacefully and gracefully. It was one of things that the medical system could have prevented, and yet, it was prefect for her so it was not a mistake and there has not been any anger towards them for the oversight.

Dad has turned around days and nights. He can't sleep when no one is moving around. He doesn't want to left alone or feel alone. That is just a continuation of his life. He always wanted to be surrounded by family. Three out of four of us, broke away when we were young, and one didn't have the strength or fortitude to do that. So he is in the basement drinking himself to death. They say there is four or five steps to alcoholism, but there has to be more numbers than that. My brother is far beyond the stages and still breaths, which is amazing. A medical miracle to be sure.

There are many ways to learn the lesson of letting go, and many ways to let go. There are many ways to learn that one never has control over anything in the universe. And that was the hardest lesson for me to learn. Once one releases the need of the illusion of control, one can do anything, accomplish anything, and handle anything as a part of life without struggle and without questioning.

In the end, it doesn't matter what one said, or what one collects in their lives. It's true, you can't take it with you. So I gave away all my books to the Hospice Society. They can't teach the way the life does, and I will probably not ever buy or read another one.

Life isn't about what you know, its about what you experience. And each experience is so different between being filled with expectation or reflection, than it is to just allow the experience to happen. In the allowing, there is no attachment and no emotional upsets.

Thats my ramble for today

Love to all


Subject: RE: death and dying

From: "Ragland, Thomas" <TRagland@UMCOM.ORG>

Date: Tue, 4 Nov 2003 12:11:19 -0600

One of the most comforting quotations I recall is from Bhagavad Gita:

Out of death, in truth, comes life. There never was a time when you were not, Nor shall there be a time when you will not be, You are seen between unseens, So cease from fear of death.

Still it is a change to lose parents. Both of mine have died. You will be in my thoughts, dear lady.


Subject: Re: death and dying

From: "Johannes Kieding" <lmrepresentative@hotmail.com>

Date: Tue, 04 Nov 2003 17:13:34 +0000

thank you for sharing, Sharleene... thanks


Subject: Re: death and dying

From: Sharlene <sharlene@light-mission.org>

Date: Thu, 06 Nov 2003 05:45:42 -0800

>thank you for sharing, Sharleene... thanks

Hi J, Thanks for listening. :)


Subject: RE: death and dying

From: Sharlene <sharlene@light-mission.org>

Date: Thu, 06 Nov 2003 05:52:17 -0800

> > >Still it is a change to lose parents. Both of mine have died. >You will be in my thoughts, dear lady. >Tom Ragland >tragland@umcom.org

Thanks Tom. Yes, if there were no changes, there would be nothing to experience. Each one a learning, each one opening a door of new opportunity, nothing gets left behind but becomes who you are in the next moment and how we react or respond in the moment. Change, the only constant in life. We can always depend on it. :)

Love to all


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